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Post by ryan andreas holloway on Oct 21, 2009 16:57:52 GMT -5
 YOU CAN FEEL THE POUNDING WRAPPED AROUND YOUR CHESTRYANHOLLOWAY[/size] NOTHING'S TOO EXCESSIVE WHEN YOU'VE GOT NOTHING LEFT[/center] "Dialogue!"
[/b] 'Thoughts!'[/color] Just to make one thing perfectly clear, Ryan Andreas Holloway did not hang around high schools for fun, he was here with a very specific purpose. Ok, so right now he did feel like creeper, but there wasn't much that he could do about it. Ryan had promised Sara he'd come pick her up, and whether he would admit it out loud or not he was rather anxious to see her. Regardless of how hard he had to work to be observant he had still noticed something was up. The tall boy leaned against the hood of his car, but he felt too much like Edward Cullen so he switched his stance so he was actually sitting on the hood. The fear of being attacked was too scary for him to risk it. The whole Twilight fad had gone a little over board, wouldn't you agree? Aaron, his twin brother, loved Twilight, but regardless of whether or not Ryan had to be the complete antitheses of his brother he still would not enjoy those books or that God forsaken movie starring R Patz and the girl that looks like she suffers from severe epilepsy. He would rather eat his feet off than have to be subjected to such terrible acting skills portraying such a poorly thought out plot. A few girls were already leaving the school, and he recognized them, probably from a club, but he couldn’t remember their names. Ryan had the inability to put names with faces. He could remember a name, and a face, but the two just didn’t blend. He smiled politely but in a way that would deter them from approaching. He wasn’t here to see them. Ryan wasn’t used to this, he was used to doing as he pleased and not really caring about what other people thought of him, or his actions effect. Yet, he cared about what Sara thought. Not in some mushy ‘I’ll change just for you’ way (Twilight), he just cared about her and didn’t want her to be disappointed in him. Ryan wasn’t really one to care what other people thought, but just this once he figured he’d give it a go. Running a hand through his hair he shifted on the hood of his car. It wasn’t a particularly nice car. Aaron got that so he could travel from school to home with no fear of it breaking down, Ryan for the hunk of junk. No worries, if the unloved son gets mugged and killed because his car breaks down on some sketchy Manhattan street, we will always have the favorite. Ryan has never been the favorite and he has accepted that, he would just like a nicer car, that’s all. The bell rang and Ryan slid off the hood, no dent, just the way he liked it. Some extremely small kids walked from the building, this was the high school wasn’t it? That was when he really started to feel like a pedophile. Luckily, he didn’t have candy in his car today or else he really would have felt bad. Scanning the crowd he was still unable to find her. Why was New York City so big? Internally, Ryan shrugged, he probably wouldn’t like it if it were tiny. [/size][/font] [/blockquote][/blockquote] WE'RE ALL HERE CAUSE WE LOST CONTROL WE'RE ALL HERE CAUSE
WELOSTCONTROL [/size] WE'RE ALL HERE CAUSE WE LOST CONTROL WE'RE ALL HERE CAUSE[/center] •tags• Saraaaa <3
•status• finito burrito
•comments• write the comments here
•word count• how many words?!
•lyrics• DIE TONIGHT, LIVE FOREVER by InnerPartySystem
•credit• AMANDA THE PIRATE * @ CAUTION !
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Post by sara paige walker on Oct 21, 2009 18:31:33 GMT -5
 he said that he was sorry and everything had changed.------------------------------------------------------------- Sara sat impatiently in class, ready to leave and see Ryan. She was also ready to leave because her teacher's perfume was making her want to gag. Sara hadn't admitted to anyone that she was pregnant yet, and she'd had to take three tests to even admit to herself. So she said nothing about Ms. Archer's perfume, even though it was making her sick. She suddenly regretted sitting as close to the board as she did. She always made them work until the bell rang, but Sara had already finished, so she just sat there waiting on the bell. She didn't have any homework, but she rarely did, she always did it during school. Sara was the favorite in her family, always got the best grades and excelled at tests. Justin probably would have, if he ever tried at anything. She checked her phone to look at the time while her teacher was in the back of the room. 2:58. Her school was so crowded it was going to take her forever to make it to the front anyhow. Gotta love the Big Apple. Sara actually did love it, she probably would have hated it if she had to live in South Carolina all of her life. She almost didn't want to leave class, because leaving class meant telling Ryan, and telling Ryan meant, well, it probably meant he was going to just be say 'oh, my bad,' and leave. The last thing she wanted was for him to leave, but she felt awful having to lie to him.
The bell finally rang and Sara jumped. Did it get louder? she thought to herself silently. She stopped at her locker to put away all of her stuff, waving to a couple of her friends who past. Not a lot of people talked to her because they thought she was a super good girl, but she really wasn't. No one had to really know that. Now that she thought about it, if she thought she was going to do about the kid, they'd all know she wasn't the good girl. She sighed and walked towards the front entrance where Ryan was when he picked her up. She walked down the steps, where she could see Ryan standing in front of his car. She tugged at her sleeves because she was so cold. She tried to smile at him, but it didn't quite make it. It was almost her normal smile, but anyone who had the slightest bit of knowing her in them could tell. She was never too good at hiding her feelings, because it was something she hated to do. And by now, she was sick of hiding things. "Hey," she said with a smile. It made her sad to smile. Oh, nine months of this was going to be great. She exhaled deeply before she spoke. "I need to tell you something, ok?" she started. Maybe it wasn't the greatest timing, but if she didn't say this now she was never going to get it out. Soon enough it'd be too hard to hide, and she wasn't doing such a great job with it now. ------------------------------------------------------------- TAG ryan the angst-master.
WORD COUNT five twenty-six.
LYRICS you still hurt me by william fitzsimmons.
OUTFIT clickie here
NOTES sara the sadness-master.
CREDIT sophielizabeth of CAUTION 2.0. |
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Post by ryan andreas holloway on Oct 24, 2009 13:08:54 GMT -5
YOU CAN FEEL THE POUNDING WRAPPED AROUND YOUR CHESTRYANHOLLOWAY [/size] NOTHING'S TOO EXCESSIVE WHEN YOU'VE GOT NOTHING LEFT[/center] [font=georgia
'Thoughts!'
[/color] Ryan tried to find her a few times, and he didn't want to go through the onslaught of prostitots and wanna be gangsters leaving the school so he simply stood where he was. He finally found Sara, and when he did, he wasn't sure how he missed her. She always looked gorgeous. Surprisingly, he never had a problem remembering her name or face, yeah, shocking right? He woudl never forget the look on Aaron's face when he introduced them. His own brother had no faith in him, how nice? Well, it wasn't like his parents had any faith in him either. If he didn't have to be so difficult, he might give up on himself as well, Ryan was all toghether too stubborn. He ran his hands through his hair as he waited for her to get close to him, so he could walk and meet her somewhat half way. When she got closer to him, he knew something was up. Ryan didn't pay attention to many people, but he paid attention to those he cared the most about, and Sara was up there on that list. Plus, she was a really bad liar. He picked her up in a bear hug. ] "Hey,"[/b] [/size][/font] he said with a smile. What she said next made him nervous, he wasn't going to lie. Those were never good words, but usually, he was the one saying them, not the other way around. ] "Ok, shoot."[/b] He tried to keep his smile in place, but it was faltering. Ryan never did well under pressure, his nerves could get the best of him, but that wasn't something he told anyone. Ryan preferred to seem calm cool and collected all the time. He couldn't think of what she needed to tell him, he could tell, by the look on her face, that it wasn't anything good. [/blockquote][/blockquote] WE'RE ALL HERE CAUSE WE LOST CONTROL WE'RE ALL HERE CAUSE
WELOSTCONTROL [/size] WE'RE ALL HERE CAUSE WE LOST CONTROL WE'RE ALL HERE CAUSE[/center] •tags• Saraaaa <3
•status• finito burrito
•comments• write the comments here
•word count• how many words?!
•lyrics• DIE TONIGHT, LIVE FOREVER by InnerPartySystem
•credit• AMANDA THE PIRATE * @ CAUTION !
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Post by sara paige walker on Oct 24, 2009 20:03:37 GMT -5
he said that he was sorry and everything had changed. ------------------------------------------------------------- Sara actually had a real, true smile as Ryan hugged her. Maybe it was just his presence that made it a little easier. She often felt at ease around him, like she could relax and she didn't have to be the perfect good girl all the time, because he liked her as is. Or she hoped so, anyway. She didn't want to say it now, but she had already started something so she had to finish it. It was going to make everything different. But before she thought about all the bad things that could happen if she told him, and just spit out, although stumbling over her words was definitely going to happen. She looked down and started playing with her necklace as she opened her mouth. She didn't want to see his face when he heard the news. "I think.. she started. "Well, I mean, I know.. she sighed, looking up a little but not enough to look him in the eyes. Just say it quick, she told herself. Like a Band-aid. she thought silently. "I'm pregnant." she finally said. It was a scary thing to think about, and even more to say it out loud. She hadn't even said it out loud yet to herself, and to say it to Ryan was more frightening than any horror movie she'd seen. If she was one of those people had nervous habits, she may have been shaking then, or itching for no apparent reason, or maybe fidgeting with everything possible so she didn't have to look in his eyes. But anyone who knew her could read her like a book, and while everyone else just thought they knew her.
She was trying not to cry, but she was prone to it now because of this, so that wasn't making it easy. She was holding it back, though she could feel her eyes watering. She fixed her hair so that wasn't completely covering her face, although that probably wasn't a good idea in the long run. She was either getting one last look at him before he walked away, or he was seeing exactly how pathetic she looked, and how much she wasn't as perfect as people thought. She couldn't even think about telling anyone else until it was, well, in plain sight for lack of a better way to put it. There were so many things running through her mind that she wanted to say, but she was letting him speak first. She wanted to say she didn't want him to go, or that he didn't need to worry. Sara always thought everything out completely, and it wasn't beyond something she could think through. She hated calling it an 'it'. But she wasn't far along enough to know if it was a boy or girl. She hadn't even been to the doctor yet, because that would involve letting the parentals know, which was something she was hoping to avoid until they started to ask questions, which was sure to be soon. They were almost as observant as Ryan. ------------------------------------------------------------- TAG ryan the angst-master.
WORD COUNT five ten.
LYRICS everything has changed by william fitzsimmons.
OUTFIT clickie here
NOTES no me gusta sad sara.
CREDIT sophielizabeth of CAUTION 2.0. |
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Post by ryan andreas holloway on Oct 27, 2009 18:54:04 GMT -5
YOU CAN FEEL THE POUNDING WRAPPED AROUND YOUR CHESTRYANHOLLOWAY [/size] NOTHING'S TOO EXCESSIVE WHEN YOU'VE GOT NOTHING LEFT[/center] "Dialogue!"
[/b] 'Thoughts!'[/color] Ryan froze, and if it weren't for his erratic breathing passers by probably wouldn't know he was even alive. They were simple words but Ryan took it like a physical blow. He staggered back a bit leaning against his car unable to take his eyes off of Sara. "Wh-how? I-" He wasn't sure what he wanted to say or ask. How was a dumb question regardless because he knew how, but he thought they had been safe. Pregnant, when you read it in books it's not so scary, but the word terrified him. Ryan never really though that this would happen to him, and he promised himself a long time ago that if a girl he hooked up with wound up pregnant he would say goodbye and walk away. He might not even say goodbye, just simply leave; but looking at Sara his resolve faltered. He felt too much like Aaron, but he wanted to now if she was ok. He wanted to know, but he also already knew that she couldn't posisbly be ok. Ryan put his face in his hands and then drug his fingers through his messy hair. Looking up at her he asked, "what are you going to do?" He felt like Chris Rock, but the comedian had either intentionally or unintentionally given him some very good advice. Ryan didn't like lying to Sara so he was wasn't going to tell her that he was happy about it because he was terrified and looking up at Sara he was certain she was as scared or hurt as he was. He felt terrible for thinking that he should leave her as he watched her try not to cry. Ryan pushed himself off of his car and reached out towards her, "come here," he said, pulling her close wrapping his arms around her. "I'm not leaving." He promised as he rested his chin on top of her head. [/blockquote][/blockquote] WE'RE ALL HERE CAUSE WE LOST CONTROL WE'RE ALL HERE CAUSE
WELOSTCONTROL [/size] WE'RE ALL HERE CAUSE WE LOST CONTROL WE'RE ALL HERE CAUSE[/center] •tags• Saraaaa <3
•status• finito burrito
•comments• write the comments here
•word count• how many words?!
•lyrics• DIE TONIGHT, LIVE FOREVER by InnerPartySystem
•credit• AMANDA THE PIRATE * @ CAUTION !
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Post by sara paige walker on Oct 27, 2009 20:51:56 GMT -5
he said that he was sorry and everything had changed. ------------------------------------------------------------- Sara was already scared, and her heart started pounding a mile a minute when Ryan spoke. He was confused, but well so was she. She was the good one in the family, things like this didn't happen to her. She got A's, she came home right before her curfew was over. She didn't get pregnant. She had asked herself how this had happened a million times. She still didn't shred a tear, it was in her nature to have to be strong all the time, so she just crossed her arms and held her sides, waiting for his reaction. She didn't know what he was going to do, and that made her feel completely unsettled. To deal with this without him by her side would be unbearable and not conceivable. Oh god, the word conceive. She cringed. She couldn't even think about that. Now that she'd said it out loud, it brought a whole new bunch of things to think about. She wouldn't be Sara the good girl anymore. She'd just be that pregnant girl. She heard people talk about the girls in school who had kids. They always became 'that pregnant girl'. She didn't want that, but it was way too late to think about what she did and didn't want anymore.
She could tell as he put his face in his hands, he was just as scared, worried, and upset as her. It was understandable. She finally looked up at his face when he spoke. What a loaded question. Was she going to do? Abortion wasn't an option in her mind. But keeping the kid? She didn't know what kind of life she would have been giving the kid, but she knew she had to try. If all else failed, she could give it away for the kid's own good. She could do that, right? "I'm gonna keep it." she said in a small voice. She felt unbearably small, like she was the tiniest thing on earth. Maybe it was the same distance he'd kept ever since she uttered the words, or maybe she was just overreacting. It wouldn't be the craziest thing to happen. He opened his arms and she walked towards him and put her arms around him. It wasn't what she had expected at all. Maybe she let a couple tears fall when he couldn't see her, but she felt like a weight was off of her shoulders now that he wasn't leaving. She almost asked if he was sure, but she didn't want to take the chance that he would say no. Maybe it was selfish, but she just wanted to stay here in his arms, as cheesy as that sounded. As much she didn't want to, she had to ask. "You're sure?" she asked, her voice still small but not as sad. She pulled away, but only barely so he could understand what she said. She ran her hand through her black hair, feeling a hell of a lot more at ease.
------------------------------------------------------------- TAG ryan the angst-master.
WORD COUNT four ninety-eight.
LYRICS everything has changed by william fitzsimmons.
OUTFIT clickie here
NOTES no me gusta sad sara.
CREDIT sophielizabeth of CAUTION 2.0. |
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Post by ryan andreas holloway on Nov 2, 2009 18:00:22 GMT -5
YOU CAN FEEL THE POUNDING WRAPPED AROUND YOUR CHESTRYANHOLLOWAY [/size] NOTHING'S TOO EXCESSIVE WHEN YOU'VE GOT NOTHING LEFT[/center] "Dialogue!"
[/b] 'Thoughts!'[/color] The boy nodded mutely as she told him she was going to keep it. Great. As if his parents needed another reason to hate him, and as if he needed another responsibility. He was trying not to think of the negative aspects of the situation, but that was increasingly hard when you're as bitter as Ryan was, and when you are in a situation such as this. He had always figured this would happen to his friends, not to him, and he really wished that was how it all worked out, but it wasn't. He couldn't get mad at Sara either. Whenever anything bad happened Ryan liked to blame others, but this was just as much his fault. If not totally his. Or maybe God? Ryan figured that would be a good place to pin the blame, but then again, he wasn't sure if God existed let alone cared what went on in this self destructive kids life. He was quiet for a moment when she asked if he was sure. Was he? It would be just as easy to say no and walk away. It would be much easier in fact, but could he do it? He felt like he had the angel and devil sitting on his shoulders one encouraging and the other chiding whatever decision he made. It seemed to be a lose lose situation and if he stayed at least then he wouldn't be hurting Sara. "I'm sure." He was quiet a moment, "do you want me to stay?"Ryan wasn't used to feeling out of control. He always kept his cool, and he was never emotional. Except for right now. There was nothing like a life chaning event that could occur in a few words to change your perception on things. Ryan moved back slightly so he could see her face, he bent forward and kissed her gently, he didn't pull away entirely, whispering, "I'm sorry." He stayed that way a moment before straightening up. He wasn't one to admit his real feelings so this was a big step for him. Ryan figured that if he was getting thrown into a world full of scary things, he might as well start facing his fears, he might as well let people know what he was really feeling. He wasn't sure if that was agood idea, but if Sara was honest with him, he'd be honest with her. [/blockquote][/blockquote] WE'RE ALL HERE CAUSE WE LOST CONTROL WE'RE ALL HERE CAUSE
WELOSTCONTROL [/size] WE'RE ALL HERE CAUSE WE LOST CONTROL WE'RE ALL HERE CAUSE[/center] •tags• Saraaaa <3
•status• finito burrito
•comments• write the comments here
•word count• how many words?!
•lyrics• DIE TONIGHT, LIVE FOREVER by InnerPartySystem
•credit• AMANDA THE PIRATE * @ CAUTION !
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Post by sara paige walker on Nov 2, 2009 22:08:07 GMT -5
he said that he was sorry and everything had changed. ------------------------------------------------------------- Sara slightly smiled for what seemed like the first time today, and she wanted to say it wasn't, but she couldn't be sure. She didn't know how he could think she didn't want him to stay. It was kind of cute. "Of course I do," she replied. "I'd be crazy not to," she said. She couldn't do this alone. She had so many things on her mind. Telling her brother he could no longer joke about how she was the favorite. Walking around like a fat lard for months. Buying those god awful maternity clothes. And jesus, those stupid freaky cravings. Just to be hanging out and have something kick you in the stomach from inside your body. It sounded like the weirdest thing she'd ever heard of. It was all too real. She then realized how completely selfish she was being, sure, she was the one this was affecting more, but it wasn't like this wasn't going to affect Ryan's life at all. She hated this, but there was no use sulking around in how awful it was. She always tried to put on a strong face in bad situations, but maybe even she wasn't strong enough for this. Everyone has to falter some of the time, although she didn't want to admit it. She couldn't stop her brain from going in a million different directions at once, but she looked into his eyes and she melted into a pool of comfort. It was so new to know that someone had that effect on her. Usually she had images to keep up 24/7, but being with Ryan was effortless.
As he moved back slightly, Sara's heart raced. She was scared he was walking away when all he was really doing was leaning in to kiss her. She lost herself in kisses with him, and when he pulled away it felt like had barely been a second. She smiled a little, able to be strong now and softly touched the side of his face before he really pulled away. "It's gonna be fine," she said, needing to hear the words out loud. She wasn't sure of how true it was going to be, but she was positive it was something she would have to keep telling herself. She'd never seen Ryan be this serious, but she guessed this situation called for it. It was nice, but she just wished that this wasn't the reason why. She was sick of being at the school, although she didn't exactly want to go home either. "Can we leave?" she asked. "If one more girl walks by with her Britney Spears perfume, I think I'm going to gag," she joked, knowing it was way too soon for it to be funny.
------------------------------------------------------------- TAG ryan the angst-master.
WORD COUNT four fifty six.
LYRICS everything has changed by william fitzsimmons.
OUTFIT clickie here
NOTES no me gusta sad sara.
CREDIT sophielizabeth of CAUTION 2.0. |
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