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Post by hailee marie shantez on Oct 25, 2009 20:59:53 GMT -5
 
right after her last words to hayden, she had rushed off to get ready to go to his house. he seemed to mind waiting for her to come over, so she would try to be a quick as possible. walking into her bedroom, she grabbed her bag and started to stuff clothes into it. though she took some thought into this, Hayden may be her best friend but she liked to look good around him. picking out her favorite undies from victoria secret pink line, she stuffed them into her tote along with a brush and some make up for in the morning. pulling off her pj pants and tee shirt, she pulled on a clean Beatles shirt and dark washed destroyed jeans. slipped her feet into a pair of pumps for a boost of extra height ... he was a tad taller then her. pulling another shirt from her draw she tossed it into her bag, she could re-wear these jeans in the morning, she didn't mind. looking into her mirror she looked at her face over all, no make up or anything was on. her hair frizzed a little but rested in its large curls that flowed all the way to the ends. hmm a pony tail would do for the night, she didn't want to bother with actually doing her hair right now, she was going to bed soon anyway. just wasn't her bed she would be sleeping in tonight.
after a few spray of perfume and lip gloss, she grabbed her tote and moved into her little dressing table. picking up her phone, keys, wallet and some money. alright she was almost ready to go and it wasn't even 10 minutes from when she last talked to him online. pressing eject on her CD player, she watched her beloved Micheal buble cd come out, she put it in the album case and pushed it into her tote. he had to listen to him if it was the last thing she did. maybe then he would understand how she was really feeling inside? Micheal buble did sing about love but his music had a bit of a deeper meaning to her. he sang about what she wanted to have or experience one day, something she thought of to not be worthy of at the moment. she sighed breaking her depressing thoughts as she pushed a stray strand of hair from her pony tail behind her ear. she needed to get out this place before he like called her up angry that she was taking so long. last place to really go was the kitchen, pill time.
picking up the orange bottle, she took out two little white pills and her glass of water. she really wasn't suppose to take these at night and more then once a day. but Hailee didn't care, these little pills made her normal, these little pills just made her feel a little bit more accepted in life. no one really knew she was bipolar, other then her dad and her dead mother who she wished looked down on her. Hayden didn't need to know about his disorder, it would only make him pity her. which was something she didn't need, not now or later. it already seemed as if he pitted her for her mother's death and not being there, this disorder didn't need to add more guilt on the poor boy. shoving the pills in her mouth and take a gulp of the water, she leaned her head back and flushed the pills down without second thought. if she was staying by his place tonight, she couldn't take them with her. it was too big of a risk of him finding the bottle or seeing her with pills.
picking up the cream colored tote, she swing it over her shoulder after placing her jacket on and glancing around her household. thinking of anything she had forgotten in her rush to get ready and leave. finding then nothing came to mind, she moved out the door, locking it behind her to move to her car. smiling at the black car before she, she got into the driver's seat. tossing her bag into the passenger side as she placed the key into the key hole and started up the beast she called her baby. thankfully Hayden's place was only about a twenty minute drive from her place without traffic? pulling out her drive way, she drove off to his place, thankfully only hitting two red lights but no big traffic streets. which surprised her, it was pretty late and no one wanted to be out driving somewhere in new york city? wow maybe everyone felt like her tonight and stayed in. though she had good reason to be a party pooper and stay home. but of course no one knew but Hailee and her papa, who by the way was mad at her for that reason. lets just say your not suppose to drink and be on meds and when you do put both together, you go to the hospital and get your stomach pumped and your daddy called. her punishment for this? none.
she was really starting to believe her dad was just giving up on her or done with all her bullshitting around. yes it did hurt that she really go no response from her now a days but she learned to not let it get to her as much. if he was going to push her then she was going to push him, out of her life that is. though in a way it was stupid, he payed for everything she owned. she never had to pay for anything in her whole life time, it wasn't like her family was rich but her dad had a pretty good job, so she was able to live a life of some luxury from time to time. passing the thought of her father, she pulled into Hayden's driveway, turning her car off and gabbing her bag. quick sigh passed her lips, finding the need to act happy around him and be all cheerful, when deep down she really wasn't. but she wouldn't let him know that, he didn't need the worry that she was facing. opening the door, she got out, locking her car behind her before walking up to Hayden's door and ringing the door bell. hmm what where did he keep the spare key again? glancing around, she saw a small plant, lifting up the brown clay pot, there lay-ed the small gold key. grabbing it quickly, she pushed it into the key hole and turned it to open up the door. pushing her head though, the small door opening she had made, she glanced around, Hayden ? she called out in a curious tone. Hailee had already rang the door bell before she had opened the door on her own, so you would think mister Hayden would be rushing up here. slight roll of her coffee colored eyes in a bit of frustration, pushing the door open all the way, she walked inside. where was that boy ?
TAG. Hayden <3
OUTFIT. CLICK.
WORDS. one two nine two.
MUSIC. everything by micheal buble
NOTES. crap.
CREDITS. jurate @ CAUTION, please don't steal! |
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Post by hayden briseis romance on Oct 26, 2009 22:37:53 GMT -5
  hayden didn't feel like his usual self. he didn't feel like argueing with hailee, and he didn't feel like ignoring what his mind was telling him to ignore. he didn't hate michael buble, but it wasn't his favourite. hailee, though, had been playing him non-stop since her mother's passing. he'd been a bit on edge lately, hailee's dad, practically begging hayden to watch her and make sure she didn't do anything stupid. it was scary for him, knowing that at any moment, hailee could simply go over the edge. hayden had known her for so long, he couldn't possibly see himself without her. and knowing her frame of mind, she wrote him off. just like the brother type figure. and he wasn't about to change that. if he tried it wouldn't help. it'd make thing weird. and that was the last thing that he'd wanted to happen. it'd already happened so many times before. and he'd come back at just the wrong time. a week after hailee's mother's death, hayden had arrived back into the states. timing had never been hayden's source of luck. hayden sighed, running a hand through his floppy, mussed hair, and shut his laptop. he stood, stretched, and wondered if he had time to shower. he didn't want to smell gross. he got up, with a fluid motion, and flipped his hair, pulling his shirt over his head, and walking towards his master bathroom.
living in a penthouse was nice. it always had been. having money, and being known wasn't so bad. annoying at times, but not always. it had its perks, as everything in life did.
hayden dropped the rest of his clothes at in the empty clothes hamper, and stepped into his shower, pressing the stereo on/off button before he turned the water on, and cranked the volume. a weird habit he'd attained a while back. blaring music while he showered. sometimes he even sang along.
he rubbed, and scrubbed, and tried to get all over a clean feel before he got out of the shower. he had a weird germ-phobia, that he'd always had. even when he'd been little. it was one of his many quirks. that, and just being hayden. he rolled his eyes, and watched the steam rise, as he rinsed, hurrying, not wanting hailee to arrive before he was ready. she'd surely be rushing, taking his kidding of her leaving him alone seriously.
in junior high school, hayden had often been made fun of. he hadn't been the strongest, or the fastest. but he'd been among the smartest. he'd also been a bit of a runt. and then, the summer he'd turned sixteen, he hit an overall growth spurt. his junior year, when he actually attended school, he was the guy everyone wanted to talk to. the cheerleaders flirted, and giggled, and the jocks let him into 'their' circle. but that had never been hayden's aim in the concentration of accomplishments. he'd never cared about the 'in' circles, or where he was on the food chain. he'd simply accomplished every american kids dream, and then some. but in all reality, hayden hated the rich, spoiled kids. he hated their perfect faces, and cars, and their perfect dates, with their perfect babies. everyone seemed to dismiss their imperfections and go on as if it were the stepford village, just because most had money.
hayden stepped out of the shower, and the steam fogged up the three wall covering mirrors ( they'd come with the house, it hadn't been his idea ), and listened to the music that was playing. he started thinking about hailee, and her weird new music obsession. he shook his head, and water droplets went everywhere. he bent, and began trying to towel dry. after about five minutes of continueing this vigoriously, he gave up, and plugged in his blow drier. his highlights (which were natural), his clean clothes, and his uncanny hate of germs and dirt seemed to make some think he was actually gay. which he was very much not. he liked girls. loved them even. but lately, people had been talking even more, because he'd barely even been hooking up at parties. he hated the gay rumors. you where a womanizing manslut, or you were a whore.
hayden finished his hair, flipped it to the side, as per his usual style, and pulled on his jeans. standing on one foot, he attempted to put his socks, on and failed miserable. the end result was hayden hopping around a bit, and eventually landing on his butt. he sighed, put both them on, his shoes - he had no unearthly idea why, but he was putting on shoes. he searched for his belt, momentarily, before giving up, and going for another. he ran back, still hearing his stereo playing in the bathroom, and pressed the on/off button once more, before receding to his room to find a shirt. he shifted things around in his drawers, he scrambled through his closet, and still, couldn't find anything that said 'i don't care what i look like, just because you're here - i always look good.' he wasn't sure exactly what his mind was telling him, by him trying so hard to look good, but not overly exerted. he'd known for a very long time that he'd liked her. he hadn't wanted to like her. god knows that was for sure. he'd never meant to fall so horribly. and as he'd been coming back, the whole time he'd been thinking about her. thinking that this time... this time he was going to tell her, whether he ran away afterwards or not. he was going to tell her, and face the truth. he'd liked her since the first day of la mas class. (their mothers had taken it together (: ) of course, the week of your mothers death would not, per say be when you would like to find out one of your best (closer, or so he considered himself so) friends were in love with you. in fact, he was sure she didn't want to hear it at all, when he himself hadn't been completely sure love existed in the first place. he didn't like the thought, the word, the mass conception. he didn't go along with traditional ideas, nor did he think marriage should solidify the 'trust' between a couple. just waking up next to that special person, your 'the one', every morning, and trusting them enough to stay, or to go, should be enough. why did people have to drag God into it? hayden rolled his eyes, and heard the keys fumbling in the door hole. the little brat had found his spare. he laughed, and ran a nervous hand through his hair. he didn't want to tell her, and he definitely didn't want to think about what her dad had spoken of. the break down, the hospital. it scared him. but what scared him most was the fact that her dad trusted him to keep an eye on her. she was definitely not a child. she had a mindful of ideas, and was as hard headed, and just as stubborn as hayden. they argued, they butted heads, and they swore and threw things sometimes. but it was all a part of why he loved her. it was all a part of the way he loved her.
hayden crossed his room, and passed through the kitchen, he picked up an apple, took a bite on his way threw, and without looking, threw it over his shoulder, and landed it in the waste basket. hailee was right, he had played an insurmountable number of various sports, and he still did. but it was all apart of his charm, or so he thought. hayden, still shirtless, came up behind hailee, and picked her up from around the stomach. he swung her around, as per usual greeting. she squealed her usual expletives to put her down, and he did. he flipped his hair again, and flashed her his hundred-watt grin before pulling his t-shirt over his head slowly. he'd not realized how much he'd missed her until he had laid eyes on her once more. "the one and only" he answered, before mussing her hair and walking back towards his room, knowing she'd follow. he was going to close his drawers and such atleast. it wasn't like his bedroom freaked her out or anything...after all, she'd spent the night and slept in the same bed with him before (sometimes on the couch, but the bed was much more comfortable).
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they all add up to one four three one, the oufit looks uncannily like this. the lovely kick ass person tagged would definitely have to be hailee aka mandaramasaurus, coz she rocks. the lyrics go to michael buble because hailee's hay's everything, and (c)abbie.doll of c/v.2<3 made everything, stealing is for slutty hobos, so silencio old man!
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Post by hailee marie shantez on Oct 26, 2009 23:01:18 GMT -5
after everything that had ever happened in this girl's life, she had come to believe she wasn't worthy of love from another human being. sure family and friends didn't really count but love from another person, a male preferably just wasn't meant for her. every guy hailee had even went after had tossed her to the side and ignored her, going off with some other random pretty girl. after a while she had stopped going after them, stopped putting on that extra time in her outfit to impress them because they just weren't into her. sure when he really cute guy was in one of her classes, she always felt the need to after him. but so did all the other girls, the thinner more beautiful ones. hailee often looked at herself as normal looking, making under if she was having a bad day. its why hailee found it so amazing she was friend, best friends with a guy like hayden. she was so sure after she saw him in his new grown up hot looking state he would ditch her, for the other girls. the ones on cheer leading teams and the dress to impress ones, the type of girls that everyone wanted to be or be with. hayden never touched one or dated one from what she remembered. what or even who was he waiting for? the question puzzled her so many times because he was such a good looking guy. he had everything and yet he was single and not even hooking up with girls from parties. but she knew also he wasn't known to be that type of guy from her point of view. he as never one to bring random girls to his house and just have them for sex, no strings attached.
hayden had become something different in her life, he was her best friend. at this point he was more then just a best friend, he was her everything, her go to person. truthfully her only friend at the point, the only one she could really count on. maybe it was why hiding all this crap from him had been killing her inside. deep down inside she knew it was wrong to hide things from a person she considered to but it just seemed easier to hide everything from everyone instead of exposing her real self, the veritable her. hayden most of all should have the right to know about the bipolar disorder and the hospital visit, along with everything else she had done to herself when he was gone. but as the pain rose in her from hiding this information from him, also did the fear of loosing him after she would confess to him. she was a freak of nature and as much as she would love to believe that he would also be her best friend thick and thin, she couldn't. the world just plainly always be there for her, every time she needed the boy. she knew reality at its best and worst. it wasn't that she was doubting how close they were or how much he cares for her but people grew older. after college, she didn't see herself coming to hayden's house and sleeping over. she knew one day he would settle down with a pretty rich girl and his mind would focus on her and building a family. not hailee shantez with her 101 problems. fact was fact and she had come to realize that, faster then some people.
feeling the large arms sweep around her waist and lift her up in the air, she couldn't hep but smile. of course she protested and demanded he put her down, but she liked it when he held her overall. it was like her safe circle, she felt as if nothing could hurt her in his arms. it was one thing she missed dearly about him when he was gone, the way he could make her feel with out even saying a word. his touch was just enough to send her into heaven and back down again. if micheal buble wasn't alive, she was pretty sure sleeping in hayden's arms would put her to sleep just as good. of course he didn't know what his effect on her was because she had become so good at hiding how she was feeling that she had in a way become to good at it. just as he crossed her path to go onward to what she recognized as his bedroom path she followed. for the second she could, she admired his back with a tiny smile in the enjoyment of her own satisfaction. the broadness of his shoulders was enough to make her want to touch him and from this simple glance of seeing his body it was enough to think she was crazy. crazy for feeling this kind of drive toward him, a drive that best friends shouldn't share.
she looked down as he pulled on his shirt, pushing thoughts of her mind. many thoughts that she had thought about over and over again so many times while she was over here. thinking over what she really felt for hayden and was it just best friendish or more? she enjoyed his company and loved spending time with the boy, taking any chance she could. but she loved days just sitting with him cuddling up as they watched a good old movie. as much as she could be into the movie, she always made it a point to fall asleep on him because then he usually fell asleep too or he picked her up and carried her to his bed where they both slept for the night together. the fact that she felt safe in his arms just meant she never wanted to leave them, it just felt so right to be with him. which scared her so much because if something did happen and she had allowed herself to develop these feelings for him, far beyond what she wanted then it only meant she would crash just as hard too. being bipolar, crashing only meant on and off depression something no medication could cure or settle down. she didn't need that, her dad didn't need that. sighing at her troubled thoughts, she followed him to his bedroom, he was such a clean guy. tossing her bag at the other side of his bed, the side he didn't sleep on. placing her bum on the bed, she pulled off her heels at once. these things were hurting and she didn't feel like wearing them when she was going to be inside the house anyway. its not like she really was going to g outside and do something, she wanted to stay in today with him, alone.
glancing over to him push draws in and fix up a little bit, she wiggled her purple polished toes as the end of the bed, swinging her feet freely. right now the only thing playing in her mind was the last conversation she had with her dad and the fight that had broke out between them. it was small but still a fight, there she had learned how apparently her dad had been talking with hayden about her. she didn't really know what because he wouldn't tell her anything of course, just covered up his mistake in saying hayden's name and pushed it off. narrowing her chocolate pools toward the back of hayden, she stayed there in simple thought. she didn't need to be watched over like a child but she knew well enough both her father's concern as well as hayden's over her health and over all being. she was a fucking nut case and no one had to tell her twice. but if her dad had spoken to hayden, that only meant that he must know what had happened with her that night, going to the hospital and all the other stuff. he must know she was bipolar. shifting her gaze quickly, feeling slight panic rise inside of her, he focused on anything else she could. control was what she needed right now, control over her over expressed emotions. hayden i know you talked to my dad slowly the words left her mouth with her head still turned away from him, somewhat in shame because he could right now know all the stuff that had happened to her. all the shit she had caused to herself on purpose for reasons she could never descried. the only emotion hitting her now was disappointment because she knew already thats something he felt toward her if he knew what had been going on, maybe even shame or disgust. she didn't know and that just scared her even more. what did he tell you ? this time instead of asking the floor, her crown turned toward him. facing him with fear spilling from her eyes, amazing herself that she was even able to face him an ask such a question.
TAG. Hayden <3
OUTFIT. CLICK.
WORDS. one six two six
MUSIC. everything by micheal buble
NOTES. done. rushed at the end.
CREDITS. jurate @ CAUTION, please don't steal! |
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